5 Worst Psycho Bosses Ever
A short tribute to all the psycho bosses in the world who grease the wheels of commerce with the oily tears of the people they walk over on their way to the top. All anecdotes certified genuine, only the names have been hidden to prevent these jerks from racking up any more legal fees. Enjoy.
1. The head of sales of one of the world’s largest transaction processors was presenting his three-year strategy on point-of-sale terminal placements to the President of the company. After listening for about five minutes, the President picked up a clipboard from the table and whipped it, shades of guts Frisbee, at the forehead of the sales executive. Demonstrating the extreme flexibility common to good sales personnel the sales executive scrunched down in his chair and the board glanced off the top of his head, instead of putting a three-inch gash above his eye. “Come back when you know what you’re talking about,” was the President’s advice as he stalked out of the room.
2. In a quarterly update meeting with 500 of the company’s top executives, this same President started berating the VP of software development for not immediately firing “that worthless b**stard” leading a lagging development effort. After hemming and hawing for five minutes under the President’s withering questioning the VP finally mentioned that the fellow was in the ICU following a heart attack and firing him might cause perception problems. The President acknowledged that it might be better to wait, as his death would solve the problem anyway.
3. The newly minted President of a major financial services company gathered his new executive team together and blathered on for hours about the changes he was going to make to shake up the organization. After his speech he walked the halls to assess the impact of his remarks. He noticed, with increasing paranoia, every door along executive row was closed and two or more people were inside talking and/or scheming. That weekend he enlisted the maintenance staff to help improve communication between himself and his staff. When people arrived back to work on Monday, all the office doors had been removed from their hinges and stored in the basement.
4. The new Chief of Staff at a major credit card organization became increasingly impatient as the dinner she organized for her new boss and his entire staff experienced continued delays in an overcrowded Manhattan restaurant. Twenty minutes later she could stand it no longer, jumped to her feet, grabbed the lapel of the fellow standing by the next table, and screamed “If our meal is not out here in the next ten minutes I will see you fired.” The berated, but bemused, customer just pointed toward the waiter standing by the bar and suggested she take up the request with him.
5. The President of a commercial insurance brokerage firm explained to the CEO of said firm that he wanted a private entry from his office to the adjoining conference room. The CEO politely declined the request, times are tight, renovation is so expensive, blah, blah, blah. The President thanked the CEO, walked back to his office, picked up a chair and proceeded to bash a hole in the wall sufficiently large to serve as a temporary doorway. He explained in his farewell address that he was just trying to reduce the cost of demolition.
Copyright © 2007, Lotus Pond Media
Steven Grant is a former customer service executive from American Express with over 25 years devoted in Fortune 500 companies analyzing, improving and delivering on enhanced customer experiences. Share your experiences and anecdotes about the most psychotic bosses you’re ever experienced at http://www.customerresearchcenter.com or email Mr. Grant at scgrant@customerresearchcenter.com
Tags: anecdotes, boss, bosses, development, employees, humor, leadership, management, psycho
