Listening - A Practice Of High Performing Leaders
Listening is the skill of champions and a key ingredient in building world-class organizations. The ability to listen adeptly, versus just hearing words, catapults an average leader to excellence. Listening “beneath the words” gives you valuable knowledge about your team, customers, and competition, but even more importantly about yourself (listening carefully to what you think and say).
Because skillful listening breeds trust, the benefits are profound and can mean the difference between success and failure. With trust comes more honest communication that can open up conversations about obstacles such as doubts, fears, and vulnerabilities that stand in the way of your team’s success. With that knowledge, an insightful leader can provide coaching to guide the team through roadblocks - then onward toward achievement of the goals. When people in an organization feel “listened to”, conflict and turnover drop, customer attraction and satisfaction grow, and there is a more aligned culture with stronger productivity - because being “listened to” is something everybody craves.
Take the Listening Challenge -
For the next 21 days practice following these tips to more effective listening and notice what begins to open up around you:
1. Be present. Approach listening as an attitude.
Ask yourself: Are you aware of your judgments of the speaker’s voice, appearance, subject matter, or mannerisms? Do you jump to conclusions prematurely, dismiss the speaker in your mind, and then disengage yourself?
Practice: instead become aware that your mind is talking to you and consciously stop it. Gently let go of your preconceived thoughts of the speaker and begin to listen with a more open and compassionate attitude.
2. Be aware of your emotional triggers.
Ask yourself: Are your mental toes getting stepped on – do you feel offended? Do you disagree with the speaker’s opinions? Are you creating a rebuttal or a response in your head while the speaker is talking?
Practice: instead know that your mind is always active; this can neutralize its effect on you. Put yourself into the speaker’s position and listen carefully to his point of view even if you feel yourself beginning to react. Breathe deeply and do not respond. Not responding is a great discipline to creating an environment where differing viewpoints are welcome.
3. Listen to the whole person.
Ask yourself: Are you listening to just the words? Does the speaker feel heard? Do you tend to change the topic before proper closure or agreement?
Practice: instead listen to the words of the speaker and incorporate his tone, facial gestures, body language and most importantly – what the underlying message is that may be left unstated. Notice if his words are aligned with his body language. Maintain comfortable eye contact and nod your head now and then signaling the speaker that you are truly listening. Paraphrase where possible, but don’t overdo it. When the speaker has completed what he needs to say, recall and highlight some of what you heard. If the body language and the words did not match, now is the time to ask some questions.
4. Fight distractions.
Distractions take you away from concentrating on the speaker’s message; they are pervasive in our environment. They may come from outside noises or visual intrusions; they may also come from within – your mind is always creating internal dialog.
Ask yourself: Do you think you know what the speaker is going to say so you jump ahead of him hoping to move him along? Are you impatient and feeling hurried? Are you talking more than listening? Is your mind distracted by the speaker’s complex or technical topic?
Practice: instead get quiet and see how long you can go without any thoughts floating through your mind. Meditation, when no one is around, is an excellent tool to practice diminishing internal noise. Where possible, remove external barriers of noise and sights; if that is impossible, concentrate totally on the speaker. Even if the subject matter gets too technical or you’re tired, stay with the pace of the speaker although you may find you want to resist. Ask relevant questions for clarification of points that are technical or misunderstood. When you speak you learn nothing, when you listen you gain information and enhance your growth.
5. Listen with intention.
Ask yourself: Do you just go through the motion of listening – faking it at times? Do you know that most people fake listening at one time or another?
Practice: instead invest time and practice sharpening your skills. Listen for solutions, not problems from the speaker. Listen for the speaker’s concerns, and values, and what is important to him.
Nanci Raphael is the founder of Leadership & Executive Development, LLC, a premier executive coaching firm. A foremost authority in leadership development, Nanci Raphael’s robust experience and background gives way to her keen focus on impacting an organization’s bottom line. As an executive coach for leaders who are responsible for driving business and accountable for results, she has combined her own wisdom as a successful entrepreneur, founder and CEO of companies with the practice of coaching thousands of business leaders. Merge that with her knowledge and passion for executive growth and development, and you will quickly understand why she has been labeled a leader in leadership development and executive coaching. Nanci Raphael is also a published author and motivational speaker and a trainer of other coaches internationally. She is currently writing a book
Tags: communication, entrepreneurs, high performance, leaders, leadership, listening, results, team buildg
